So...never really thought I would be a blogger. Two things seems to stand in the way. I can't spell and I am not really a writer. (Probably because I can't spell.) But I need an outlet these days, somewhere to log my thoughts and track what God is up to. You see this fall has marked a new season in our lives. Beginning with the Salvation of my sweet husband who has been a minister for 14+ years and conclusion of our ministry at FBC Mooreland with his resignation, we face a new chapter in our lives. Not sure what is next as we have been obediently facing our future one step at a time, we find ourselves without a job or a home for our family of six. I am so thankful that God who is in control of all things has placed us here in a time like this with our wonderful church family, where my husband has served as Youth Minister/Associate Pastor for almost 10 years. They have loved, supported and encouraged Darren and our family through all of this and are supporting us in the time that it takes him to find a job and for us to find a home. While we both believe that Darren will pastor or even perhaps plant a church in the future, he believes to be obedient he needs to step away from a pastoring role for now. So that is where we are and a little bit about where we have been.
With this being our current state of reality I find myself on this roller-coaster that truth be told...I don't want to ride. I like the comfort and stability of standing on the ground and being in control of how fast I am going, of what incline I am climbing or moving down, how fast to take the curve and when to stop. I don't like riding roller-coasters. I have tried them. I have tried several different ones. I don't like them...they are scary. My biggest fear when riding a roller-coaster is falling off, that my safety belt will be the one that fails. I am especially afraid of taking that sharp curve, you know the one that if the train car doesn't make the curve...you will end up in the middle of the adjacent interstate. Of course that is probably a silly fear...the fall would for sure kill you before the oncoming traffic would run you over. LOL!
I have to say that if I didn't truly believe that God is sovereign that there is no way I would be making it right now, but because he has given me the capacity to have faith in Him...I can and I do. That is not to say that I do not battle with my flesh, because I do. I do have a peace about Darren's decision to resign, a peace that passes understanding, but there are days when I have wondered why we don't know yet...we stepped out on faith, why do we still not know what step to take next???? The battle of unbelief begins. I love the song by John Waller, "While I am Waiting", the chorus of the songs says "I will serve you while I am waiting, I will worship while I am waiting". Serve, worship and press into Jesus, that is what I must do to battle the unbelief. Or my new favorite song is by Heather Williams, Hallelujah. It encourages me to praise in the hard times "Although it seems hard, I am still trusting you Lord, Hallelujah".
Jodi - thanks so much for opening your heart and sharing this! I look forward to following your journey and seeing God's plan unfold! And I am so excited for Darren, I went through a similar experience at 26 while Tim was in seminary. It has a sweet feeling to know you are a child of the King, beyond a shadow of a doubt, and His Spirit is alive and at work! I would encourage you to go to www.gatewaypeople.com and listen to the series about being in the wilderness, particularly the one by Preston (something LoL).
ReplyDeleteBy the way, While I'm WaitingF is one of my favorite songs!! Dana (Rhines) Nichols
Jodi - Love your post. I didn't know your current circumstances. You and your family will be in my prayers as you seek Him in this new season. I can relate right now to new seasons and unknown paths for my husband. It can be such a struggle for me anyways not to try and take control of the situation and direct things myself. I have to remind myself often of that song "Strong Enough" by Matthew West. Because I know I'm not strong enough to do this! But thank God He is here for us! Here's the prayer from last nights reading (from a new book I'm reading "100 Days of Favor" by Joseph Prince), I though it appropriate - Father, I thank You that Your ways are ways of rest. All I have to do is meditate on Jesus and His Word, and He will direct my steps, lead me to the place that I am supposed to be at and cause doors of opportunity to supernaturally open wide for me. Open up Your Words of life to me as I meditate on Jesus, His love for me, His finished work, His forgiveness and His grace. My steps are ordered by Him because I am righteous in Him. If you're every in OKC and need anything call me, besides would love to see you....love you all and praying!!
ReplyDeleteMisty Landry
So thankful that your blog showed up in my Facebook newsfeed. I know how to pray because it wasn't long ago we were in your same situation with 7 kids. There really is nothing harder than waiting. As human beings we are used to doing. So to wait can be near impossible unless we continue to get our eyes back on the Lord. God has a way of guiding and leading that soon you will look back and go, "thats why He had us wait"! You might get to see how the pieces fit:) 5 yrs ago was one of our hardest walks and today we LOVE serving at FamilyLife. Look forward to hearing where God leads. I will be praying while you guys are stepping forward on faith!
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