Well...it is official

With the encouragement of my "mini-me", I blog again...

I can't even begin to explain the insanity of the past few weeks, but a couple of family high points include trick or treating with the kiddos, taking Rian to her first OU game and the girls have started basketball.  I feel like I am leaving the boys out, but right now all they seem to do is poop!  Seriously, I am getting sick of their crap!

We had a great time with Spiderman, Elizabeth Swann, Ryan Tannehill, Monster Baby and the two Kitty Cats that joined us.  This year we decided to walk, which was THE best idea ever!  Getting in and out of the vehicle over and over is just no fun at all.  So that simple change made a world of difference.

Taking Rian to the OU/A&M game was just wonderful.  She was so excited to see her cousin, Ryan Tannehill play, she cheered for A&M the whole game and watched every play.  She wore the Tannehill jersey I made her for her Halloween costume and wore it with pride.  It was great to spend the day doing that with her and watching her just enjoy things so much.  I was really glad she got to see the A&M band too.  They are so impressive!

Back in my first post I mentioned roller coasters, well...we are on a new one.  It is called the roller coaster of change...change has been racing through our home the past 7 days.  Darren found a job and so it is official...his last Sunday is next Sunday, November 20.  While I am so thankful for the job he has found, this has been a very hard and emotional week.  I have been sad that it is over, that he will no longer be the youth pastor.  I have been mad and down right angry at God, that it has to be this way.  I hurt.  I feel like I have lost my place.  I have felt lonely, even though Darren & I are walking through this together and I am surround by friends I have still felt lonely and ignored.  I have felt joy.  I have felt in awe of how God orchestrates things, His providence, His sovereignty.  I have felt relief from the pressures of ministry.  I have felt love for those who have covered us in prayer.  I have felt loved by a God who is proving himself faithful.  I have felt hurt by those who love us.  I feel overwhelmed.  I have been humbled.  I have felt excited.  I have felt peace.  I feel love for my Savior, Jesus.  

Now, don't ask me where Darren works, cause we don't know.  (LOL! We know who he works for, just not what the name of the actual company is.  It is a new venture for McIntosh Livestock but it is so much more fun to say we don't know at all.)  And don't ask me what Darren does, it has something to do with oil rigs and mud, I am clueless.  This has all happened so fast our heads are spinning.  (Maybe that is why I have neck issues???)   I am so glad that it is happening fast though.  We have been in such a "holding pattern" for so long that I am sure happy for things to be moving along, whether I like it or not.

A Bulging Disk and Award Winning Pumpkin

This has been quite a week.  I have had a lot on my plate...coupon class to teach, scrapbooking class to teach, soccer game and practice and an all night unit meeting with my CTMH buddies plus of course my normal weekly commitments.  A week way too full!!

I guess the Lord just knows when you need a break.  The first thing to go was my favorite, our unit meeting at Yulonda's.  I was so sad that had to be rescheduled.  But oh well, I said, that is one less thing to do this week.

After soccer practice, on Tuesday evening the girls made their pumpkins for the school pumpkin contest.  That was so fun, we have never done that before and really enjoyed it.  They turned out good too!  I was very proud of their work.  And yes, it was their work.  I tried to help, they just wouldn't let me.  LOL.  We stayed up way to late though.  Here were the results of their efforts...

This one was Rian's.  A Minion from the movie Despicable Me.

This is Abbee's masterpiece.  She loves reading Junie B. Jones books and this is her Junie B. Jones pumpkin.

Wednesday morning when I woke up, I couldn't move without severe pain.  My upper back and neck seized up, not as bad as on previous occasions but still extremely painful.  Needless to say I was shut down and spent the day with ice packs and heat, then ice packs and heat, over and over...the good news is that since all I could do is sit I was able to start my blog.

Anyways today has been much the same, but I was able to get some meds and see the Dr.  So things are beginning to get better.  I had to cancel both classes I was set to teach and Abbee's soccer game was a forfeit.  So my schedule was made clear for me.  Hind sight, I sure am glad my unit meeting is getting rescheduled.  I would have been really sad to miss it completely.

It is funny how we get so wrapped up in our activities that we cannot even hold our heads up above the water.  A schedule like that plus the the stress I have been under is not a recipe for healthy living or for spiritual health, and until you are forced to slow down you don't even know it.  I can always sense the chaos and things spiraling out of control, but instead stopping I just try to manage it.  So I am thankful for this bulging disk.  I am thankful that the pain is subsiding some.  I am thankful for moments to just sit an reflect.  I am thankful for time to sit and watch the kids.  I am thankful for having to stop.  I am thankful for time to make pumpkins with the girls.  I am thankful to be able to clear my head and just listen to the Lord.

BTW...Rian won second with her Minion pumpkin.  Way to go sis!!

Welcome to My Blog!

So...never really thought I would be a blogger.  Two things seems to stand in the way.  I can't spell and I am not really a writer.  (Probably because I can't spell.)  But I need an outlet these days, somewhere to log my thoughts and track what God is up to.  You see this fall has marked a new season in our lives.  Beginning with the Salvation of my sweet husband who has been a minister for 14+ years and conclusion of our ministry at FBC Mooreland with his resignation, we face a new chapter in our lives.  Not sure what is next as we have been obediently facing our future one step at a time, we find ourselves without a job or a home for our family of six.  I am so thankful that God who is in control of all things has placed us here in a time like this with our wonderful church family, where my husband has served as Youth Minister/Associate Pastor for almost 10 years.  They have loved, supported and encouraged Darren and our family through all of this and are supporting us in the time that it takes him to find a job and for us to find a home.  While we both believe that Darren will pastor or even perhaps plant a church in the future, he believes to be obedient he needs to step away from a pastoring role for now.  So that is where we are and a little bit about where we have been.

With this being our current state of reality I find myself on this roller-coaster that truth be told...I don't want to ride.  I like the comfort and stability of standing on the ground and being in control of how fast I am going, of what incline I am climbing or moving down, how fast to take the curve and when to stop.  I don't like riding roller-coasters.  I have tried them.  I have tried several different ones.  I don't like them...they are scary.  My biggest fear when riding a roller-coaster is falling off, that my safety belt will be the one that fails.  I am especially afraid of taking that sharp curve, you know the one that if the train car doesn't make the curve...you will end up in the middle of the adjacent interstate.  Of course that is probably a silly fear...the fall would for sure kill you before the oncoming traffic would run you over.  LOL!

I have to say that if I didn't truly believe that God is sovereign that there is no way I would be making it right now, but because he has given me the capacity to have faith in Him...I can and I do.  That is not to say that I do not battle with my flesh, because I do.  I do have a peace about Darren's decision to resign, a peace that passes understanding, but there are days when I have wondered why we don't know yet...we stepped out on faith, why do we still not know what step to take next????  The battle of unbelief begins.  I love the song by John Waller, "While I am Waiting", the chorus of the songs says "I will serve you while I am waiting, I will worship while I am waiting".  Serve, worship and press into Jesus, that is what I must do to battle the unbelief.  Or my new favorite song is by Heather Williams, Hallelujah.  It encourages me to praise in the hard times "Although it seems hard, I am still trusting you Lord, Hallelujah".